Can I get the white-collar with the blue trim???
I have been dying to write this post for about a week and a half now because of other blogs as well as a few conversations I have had or remembered recently.
So ladies I have to know, if you had to choose a blue-collar work with his hands type of dude....
Or the white-collar clean cut business minded type of dude.....
Which would you prefer??????
See I am in the corporate world (if you hadn't noticed from my blog picture) and am around a lot of sista's in the corporate world that are in their 20's just as I am. So naturally I have had multiple conversations with groups of men and women about the topic of relationships and the opposite sex (on or down time of course...LOL) and I have found that the corporate woman tends to lean towards an attraction to a blue collar man. Now I am not saying that this is for EVERYONE but it seems to be more frequent then I would have expected. Is it because you like a rugged looking man, or a man that works with his hands? It really puzzles me at times because some of my friends tell me that the clean cut corporate dudes really don't do it for them but I keep thinking about hearing women say "I love a brother in a suit/uniform". I guess that's only nice if it's not an everyday thing huh ladies? LOL. Afer some thought about it I starting thinking that maybe it was due to the lack of corporate brothas versus the blue-collar brothas and that makes a lot of sense. It's sort of like the radio....you hate the music they play but eventually it's all you hear and then you find yourself liking the same mess that turned you off because it's all you have to chosse from (not to belittle the blue-collared man at all). LOL.
I mean I have literally had arguments with a female friend about why she works in a corporate world and are close friends with a lot of corporate dudes but can't date one. Up until recently discovering that I am "corporate hood" (LMAO) I was actually kind of offended because the logic just wasn't there for me. One reason that I was given for the attraction to blue-collar brothas was due to them being more well-rounded...of course this lead to a 3-way back and forth that was pretty funny. Just read how the conversation went with me and two female friends (for these purposes they are "R" & "L")....
Me: So you could NEVER see yourself dating a corporate brotha?!?
R: Naaaaah! I just don't think it's for me.
L: LOL! I feel you
Me: "L" we have already went down this conversation before let's not go there again please. (@ "R") So why not?
R: It's just something about a blue-collar man! Mmmmm!!!
L: LMAO!!!!
Me: WTH!!! So what's wrong with a corporate man? I mean you are a corporate woman.
R: I know but that's how I know how ya'll are. Ya'll just aren't the same. I get bored with a corporate dude...ya'll aint no fun.
L: Here we go (shaking her head...LMAO). You done done it now "R"!
Me (that last comment strucka chord): What the h#ll you mean WE are boring? Corporate dudes and blue-collar dudes all put on their pants one leg at a time....maybe you are the boring one and you just need to find someone to help you with that no matter where he's from.
R: I wouldn't expect you to understand cause you are a corporate dude.
L: (Wide-eyed look on her face staring at me now...LOL.)
Me: Well maybe you can explain to me the difference cause you really aren't saying anything right now. What's so special and different about a blue-collar dude?
R: I don't know, they just don't seem so uptight.
Me: I'M UPTIGHT?!!!???!!!? ME????? ( I said it like that cause all I do is crack jokes)
R: Well they are more creative and open to new stuff, corporate dudes always do the same plain stuff.
Me: Creative like they write, and are really into music and art, and do stuff like hit poetry spots right? Yeah that's me!!!
L: Yeah that is him all day "R". (she has kicked it with me a lil bit...LOL)
R: And I like a brotha who can just chill and relax...knows how to dress down. Ain't nothing like a dude with a wife beater and Tims (or some nonsense she said).
L: Dane doesn't wear anything but T-shirts and sneakers or Tims when he isn't at work "R" (all her cosigning stemmed from another conversation when we had this same argument)
Me: Thank You!!!
R: Well you are just different!!!
L: I tried to tell him!
Me: LMMFAO!!!! (it was comical to me after that one)
So needless to say I feel the argument they put up was some BS but then again I may be different. I have always been that dude that people couldn't label...."you aren't a kappa or a Que or an Alpha"....I have always been that dude that was "A nice guy with an edge"....And now I am "Corporate Hood" (according to a forward I got that says "if the maintanence crew, cleaning crew, and security staff at your job know you by name and have tried to ask you on a date you are Corporate Hood." LMAO. Definitely me!!!). But I am sure that I'm not the only corporate dude like me (especially since I kick it with a few of them) and I'm sure that every lady can't have this messed up perception of a corporate man....right? So maybe I should be asking where a perception like this one can come from?
I guess for now I just gotta be content being the best of both worlds (LOL)....a white collar with the blue trim for me please. Thanks!!!
So ladies I have to know, if you had to choose a blue-collar work with his hands type of dude....
Or the white-collar clean cut business minded type of dude.....
Which would you prefer??????
See I am in the corporate world (if you hadn't noticed from my blog picture) and am around a lot of sista's in the corporate world that are in their 20's just as I am. So naturally I have had multiple conversations with groups of men and women about the topic of relationships and the opposite sex (on or down time of course...LOL) and I have found that the corporate woman tends to lean towards an attraction to a blue collar man. Now I am not saying that this is for EVERYONE but it seems to be more frequent then I would have expected. Is it because you like a rugged looking man, or a man that works with his hands? It really puzzles me at times because some of my friends tell me that the clean cut corporate dudes really don't do it for them but I keep thinking about hearing women say "I love a brother in a suit/uniform". I guess that's only nice if it's not an everyday thing huh ladies? LOL. Afer some thought about it I starting thinking that maybe it was due to the lack of corporate brothas versus the blue-collar brothas and that makes a lot of sense. It's sort of like the radio....you hate the music they play but eventually it's all you hear and then you find yourself liking the same mess that turned you off because it's all you have to chosse from (not to belittle the blue-collared man at all). LOL.
I mean I have literally had arguments with a female friend about why she works in a corporate world and are close friends with a lot of corporate dudes but can't date one. Up until recently discovering that I am "corporate hood" (LMAO) I was actually kind of offended because the logic just wasn't there for me. One reason that I was given for the attraction to blue-collar brothas was due to them being more well-rounded...of course this lead to a 3-way back and forth that was pretty funny. Just read how the conversation went with me and two female friends (for these purposes they are "R" & "L")....
Me: So you could NEVER see yourself dating a corporate brotha?!?
R: Naaaaah! I just don't think it's for me.
L: LOL! I feel you
Me: "L" we have already went down this conversation before let's not go there again please. (@ "R") So why not?
R: It's just something about a blue-collar man! Mmmmm!!!
L: LMAO!!!!
Me: WTH!!! So what's wrong with a corporate man? I mean you are a corporate woman.
R: I know but that's how I know how ya'll are. Ya'll just aren't the same. I get bored with a corporate dude...ya'll aint no fun.
L: Here we go (shaking her head...LMAO). You done done it now "R"!
Me (that last comment strucka chord): What the h#ll you mean WE are boring? Corporate dudes and blue-collar dudes all put on their pants one leg at a time....maybe you are the boring one and you just need to find someone to help you with that no matter where he's from.
R: I wouldn't expect you to understand cause you are a corporate dude.
L: (Wide-eyed look on her face staring at me now...LOL.)
Me: Well maybe you can explain to me the difference cause you really aren't saying anything right now. What's so special and different about a blue-collar dude?
R: I don't know, they just don't seem so uptight.
Me: I'M UPTIGHT?!!!???!!!? ME????? ( I said it like that cause all I do is crack jokes)
R: Well they are more creative and open to new stuff, corporate dudes always do the same plain stuff.
Me: Creative like they write, and are really into music and art, and do stuff like hit poetry spots right? Yeah that's me!!!
L: Yeah that is him all day "R". (she has kicked it with me a lil bit...LOL)
R: And I like a brotha who can just chill and relax...knows how to dress down. Ain't nothing like a dude with a wife beater and Tims (or some nonsense she said).
L: Dane doesn't wear anything but T-shirts and sneakers or Tims when he isn't at work "R" (all her cosigning stemmed from another conversation when we had this same argument)
Me: Thank You!!!
R: Well you are just different!!!
L: I tried to tell him!
Me: LMMFAO!!!! (it was comical to me after that one)
So needless to say I feel the argument they put up was some BS but then again I may be different. I have always been that dude that people couldn't label...."you aren't a kappa or a Que or an Alpha"....I have always been that dude that was "A nice guy with an edge"....And now I am "Corporate Hood" (according to a forward I got that says "if the maintanence crew, cleaning crew, and security staff at your job know you by name and have tried to ask you on a date you are Corporate Hood." LMAO. Definitely me!!!). But I am sure that I'm not the only corporate dude like me (especially since I kick it with a few of them) and I'm sure that every lady can't have this messed up perception of a corporate man....right? So maybe I should be asking where a perception like this one can come from?
I guess for now I just gotta be content being the best of both worlds (LOL)....a white collar with the blue trim for me please. Thanks!!!
posted by Daneger at 5:48 PM
10 Comments:
I want to preface my comment by saying that a good man is a good man, yada yada yada. Whatever form he comes in is fine with me if we are blah blah blah...
Okay. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that I too have said that I would prefer a blue collar man over a white collar one.
I'm sitting here trying to formulate my opinion and I'm beginning to recognize that most of my ideas on this issue have come from movies, tv, or some other media outlet.
The corporate man most likely wants to do well within his business. He want to grow and eventually step into a management position. He has great business skills, is extremely focused, has been awarded his very own office administrator, and always looks great in his suits. Sounds great, but what happens when he spends more time at work than at home or he's on call all the time and can be reached at any moment on his office cell phone? What happens when he goes on travel and leaves for one to two weeks at a time? What happens when he comes home at 8 or 9 at night every single night? What happens when it becomes difficult to schedule a vacation? What happens when he's working late nights with his office administrator and something potentially goes down? Now I do realize that I am talking about one end of the white-collar-brother spectrum, and am pulling thoughts from movies, etc. (especially the secretary affair/cheating part), but this doesn't hit too far from home because the majority of my close male friends work on Wall Street. Wathing their lifestyle and observing their relationships, I know there is no way in hell that I could be their girl.
The UPS worker who knocks on my door, the Aquafina delivery guy that comes into my building every Wednesday, or the trash man that I know will be there to pick up my trash every Sunday somehow seem more appealing to me. Maybe it DOES have something to do with them wearing a uniform and using their God-given beautiful bodies in a physical way, but what's even more attractive is that they work during the week, and are off on the weekends. They have time for family, children, and a relationship and their career's aren't number one. They seem consistent.
My dad was/is a bus driver and a firefighter. Very blue collar. He works/worked HARD to support his family, since he didn't make the money that an experienced white collar man would. That's another point to bring out. I know I'm generalizing, stereotyping and everything else but it just seems like a blue collar man works so much harder and appreciates every little paycheck he gets. Of course, white collar men do too Dane, but there's something still so very different. Maybe the appreciation is just stronger? I don't know. Maybe it's the struggle? lol. I feel like I'm beginning to sound ridiculous but I respect a faithful, hard-working blue collar man. Basically it just sucks for white collar dudes that are just as hardworking, attractive, physically gifted and appreciative. =/
So what do you think?
lmbo. dag that's long! if you want to delete it and have me put it in my blog instead with a link to you, let me know! =)
well, i just had to post it anyway. good question Dane. thanks for coming up with something new to think about.
I waited for you (jac) to answer on purpose because that way all I would have to do is say Ditto...but I still can't relly formulate why I feel that way..
My Dad and my brothers are all blue collar dudes...that work hard...so maybe that's why because that's all I have seen, and when they are supposed to come home they come home...I look at my VP here, this man has missed his wife's birthday, their anniversary, all the important dates due to travel and things...I mean it has to be rough on her...BUT I will say that he works a pretty regular schedule, leaving about 5/6 everyday...so I do think it can be done...with everything there is a compromise...
My answer is still out on this one Dane...I don't know give me a blue collar with a white trim guy that I can take anywhere and/or give me a down to earth white collar guy with a blue trim that isn't too up in the clouds and I can relate too...
Maybe that's as good of a answer that I can give
Well since I am a white-collar worker I guess I can't deny some of the things that you all are saying about always working because honestly I have worked 65 hours in one week and had to go in on a Saturday. Ofcourse that has happened twice (each) in the last year so to me it's a sacrifice I am willing to take in order to be able to afford a home in Bowie by myself. One day I will have a family and will be able to be secure thanks to my career and I pray that they can appreciate that but it will be due to me being a white-collar worker. I have the ability to work from home when I need a lot of hours so I can still be at home with my family also and I love to cook so I will be taking full advantage of that. But like I said before I am a white-collar with the blue trim so I have a blue collar mentality at times so all of this stuff with my career is just for the purpose of having a family and supporting them. I do this because I have struggled and know struggle and wouldn't want my family to have to go thru it also. But I am probably A LOT more down to earth than the stereotype of white-collar men...I am a family man (without a family LOL)and I think it's very posible to do so with a white collar carrer. I think I am hurt by the idea of women turning away men in my position because we are sucessful especially when we grew up in a time when so many men were turning their backs on kids or did nothing to support their kids (like my father). I mean you all hate it when we do right? (men intimidated by successful women is what I am referring too)
Please excuse the spelling errors, I was rushing.
I totally see your point Dane, and it really is a catch 22...I think you should just keep doing what you are doing...we always say we have preferences and "likes" but when it comes down to it, I just want a man that I can trust and can depend on to be that man, that family man and hold it down...he may drive a bus, he may be the trash man, or he may be a VP of a Corporation...
You are right, my ex was intimadated by my degrees and my work, and that caused a lot of issues...so I can see where you are coming from...I think that as long as you communicate with your partner and she feels secure in the relationship you won't have any issues...
In the end I think we all just want that Black family to come back together and just be happy...that's all we really want...So keep it down to earth, keep the blue trim and you will be alright...
Just like there are sistahs that say that ONLY want a blue collar brother I know some that ONLY want the white collar dude...
So do you...it gets frustrating, but in the end it will work itself out
Yeah you are right, I just have to do what I feel is best and hope that I don't get judged by someone's stereotype and I do that. I guess it's just weird to see women turn away from more successful brothas especially when we are the children of a generation of women that talked about men being no good and not being able to support their kids so much. I mean I always wanted a Claire Huxtable so why don't ya'll want a Cliff? He is definitely white-collar!!! LOL.
I think its because we grew up with all these stereotypes you know...AND the fact that we saw blue collar men and how they were there and provided for our families...we didn't SEE the white collar guy unless he was on TV and the ONLY example we had was Cliff...all the other brothas or men (like in Boomerang) was up to no good...
Feel me?
like I said...I just want a good dude...blue collar, white collar, purple collar as long as that bama got a job with a pension plan, benefits, and is a GREAT guy...let's get it!
TC I definitely feel what you are saying when you put it into persective like that. I guess the White-collar man was something that a lot of us only saw on TV....never thought of it like that.
Miss Alissa you've just given me hope. LOL. I am beginning to love it when you comment on my page because you seem to share real experiences that bring incite. Thank You. ;-)
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