Sharing My Space again

This is the second part to "Lessons from the Father" from my Myspace blog. if you haven't read part one you need to check that one out first to get the whole story.

Lessons from the Father (part 2)

Coming back to Maryland I find myself facing my worst fears

Cause now I'm living in my grandparents house just like my father has done for years

It's more than that, ever since the age of 16 I've found being alone frightening

Because that's the way my father's life has been and I'm so afraid to end up like him

So dispite him being around I'm faced with other difficult challenges

And day by day I continue to search for ways to try and handle this

So I try to simplify the situation, go into it without any hesitation

I just gotta remember my love for you is based on our relation

And accept the differences we have and learn to be more patient

But it's constant reminders of why you weren't around that I'm faced with

Cause sitting around the basement just wasn't getting it for me

But when I got my job I knew I wasn't about to re-live your story

So then you became that lazy nigga that did nothing when I wasn't home

And I became good at holding back resentment when my grandparents left us alone

But it was never hard for me cause all of my life I had to play it cool

Plus I had to much respect, just off principle, and you never acted a fool

So I did what I do and you...you continued to do you

But no matter how hard I would avoid it our conversations still grew

Started to notice some similarities we had between us two

Wondering how I picked up personlity traits when I wasn't ever around you

Now I listen to you talk and try to learn about you from these crazy stories of the street that usually leave me in surprise

And get sad when I realize that half of the memories you carry about me don't make it past when I was only five

Time passes and I look up and see that even when we forget about them God can still answer our prayers

Cause now we watch sports, talk about women, play games, talk about houses, and do my car repairs

So if you say God answers prayers then I really can't deny

I just wish I knew why it had to take almost 20 years for me to get my reply

So I'll never forget the day my sister called me about her graduation

Overcome with joy until she told me she had no intentions of inviting you to the celebration

I hear her talking about the invite and in her voice I can feel her pain

But it's true what they say, you can learn about yourself from where you came

And I just don't look at her father the same even though he still living life without a plan

I took what I could from this situation and let it make me a better man

I've never really been big on forgiving but living with you made me realize I can

And I see now that was something God had in store but I just couldn't understand

So now I find myself on the wrong side of our one time common fight

My sister cursing in my ear, I know she's disgusted by my reply

But I knew just how much he wanted to be there, so I knew he would probably die

And I couldn't let the pain of my past allow me to be evil, not even just one more time

But with that said and done I'm still living with when you occasionally lie or deceive me

Coming to the conclusion that the best thing you ever did for me in this life was to leave me

I mean, you got a good heart, you're just a weak minded individual

And had you chose to stay around we'd probably be indivisible

Which means in the physical, I'd probably be weak like you too

But I would rather be the man I am today than to end up like you

Instead I choose to be an honest, fatherly, responsible, loyal, forgiving man that's willing to work hard

And I'll pray that you learn about the one thing that could change your whole life around.....GOD.

The End.