Sharing My Space

Since I got such a warm reception with the last thing I shared from my Myspace blog I figured I'd do it again. This one is more of a poem and is the first part of 2 that go together and must be read in order (posting part 2 in separate blog). I chose this one based on some conversations I had with my mom and my boy Mike in regards to the topic although I wrote this about 3-4 months ago....


Lessons from the Father (part 1)

In 5th grade the kids joked me cause I had on no-name shoes

And I couldn't joke back cause I felt the same way too

I got picked on thru middle school but never learned to fight

Never taught how to throw a ball and my aim still ain't right

Didn't have the tools to answer back to that pressure from my peers

So I spent my time watching TV throughout my pre-teen years

Just another way to avoid dealing with my self esteem and fears

But that episode of "Fresh Prince" constantly kept me in tears

Got to the age where I could deal with my pain and stopped crying

Cause no matter how much I wanted to believe, he just never stopped lying

I've never been fishing before, never learned to work with my hands

Had to learn from a woman the best way to be a man

He never taught me how to treat young ladies with respect

He was never there to stop me before I would do those things I'd regret

See I was raised by women so I was a little bit different than the average dude

So I never had anyone to tell me how to properly deal with an attitude

So I went thru the heartbreak, I guess it was meant for me to learn the hard way

Just wanted guidance, he could've told me how to handle relationships the smart way

Though it should have been easier, thru the years I acquired my knowledge

And at the age of 17 I went straight to college

A new challenge to face in life with no man to look up to

By this time I knew your truth so my attitude was F#@YOU

Was always the one to overlook the bad inside of people

But by the time I approached adulthood your BS became see thru

And just when I think I'm tough on the outside and in

I hear Will Smith sing to his son and hear comes the tears again

And I know every man has times when you can't help but let your father's actions bug you

But what else can you do when you realize that he's never once told you he loved you

Filled with frustrations from my past and my sister's future anguish

With a mind set that makes excuses for my derogatory language

Cause now I taught myself to hoop and learned about cars from a girl

And my mom is my bestfriend now, so I don't need you in my world

And that was how it would be with us until an unconrtollable shift

I had to come back and live in a home with you for the first time since I was six...