Village Mentality
Anybody who has ever sat down and had a conversation with me about kids, siblings, or anything of a personal matter you probably know that I am big on family. I'm close to my family and my family members have always been some of my best friends. So as I get older the idea of being a father one day is something that I want to happen more and more. I am just concerned with the way society is bringing up our kids these days.
I'm a strong believer in the fact that the direction a child takes starts AND ends with what the parent does in the house. What I mean by that is as a parent you tell your kids what they need to know, they go out and are affected by the world anyway, and then you reign them in and tell them how they messed up and what they need to learn. It's really not the hardest thing in the world but it's amazing how hard it is for some people to simply instill and reinforce good judgement & morals into our children. I personally think the one of the biggest problems people have in their way is the need for dual incomes. Ladies I am NOT saying you should stay at home because I don't believe that BUT we can't deny that it does have an affect when no one is home with the kids.
Since it's not realistic in most cases for one of the parents to be at home and we know from experience it's possible to turn out good kids with only one parent in the home there must be something else that's missing. Well, spending most of my childhood in a single parent home (including the time my mom was with my father) I grew up around my family (which is why I'm so big on family) and now that I am older I am a big believer in that old addage "it takes a village to raise a child". For me it was my family (and family friends who I thought were family...LOL) and my village spanned SW D.C., SE D.C., and all across Prince Georges County Maryland. I really think this is what's needed for us to get a better hold of our children. There is five times as much stuff on television and radio showing our kids what's negative in the world these days. Why not have five times as many people reinforcing the morals parents are teaching. But in order for it to work you have to trust the people in your "village" and they have to know the standards you expect for your kids....that's why I think family is the best for this. That's where you were taught and the people you will trust with your kids (in most cases). But I think it has to extend to all of us to have a sense of responsiblity to keep an eye on these kids.
I know this is probably left field for most reading this one but something I saw this morning made me think about it so I had to write it.....I was leaving out of the house this morning and just like every other morning there were about 10 kids waiting for the school bus at the end of my block. These kids are elementary school age so they are really young and they are normally out there making a lot of noise and running around playing with each other. It's harmless but the fact that they sit in the street playing like that always looked dangerous to me. Well this morning someone from one of the other blocks stopped as they were driving past the bus stop, rolled down there window and started screaming at the kids. At first I was startled and was wondering why as I stopped the conversation with my grandfather to listen. What the woman said was for the kids to stop running around in the street before they got hurt and to pick there jackets and book bags up off of the ground and put them on and MOST IMPORTANTLY she sat there and waiting for each one of them to do it. Now it may seem like much to some of you but these kids are really reckless sometimes so it was needed. The problem is that none of us "good neighbors" have ever stepped up to say something to the kids before this woman. I don't even think that she had a child out there because she didn't call out anyone's name or anything. After she pulled off they stayed quiet...at least until I was gone....and I noticed that a couple of other neighbors on the block saw what happened too.
I say this all to say that she made me look at myself and realize that I need to start being part of the solution. So from this point on I will try to make a point to be a part of the "village" and not an addition to our messed up culture. And as far as this blog goes.....
Let me know what you think.
I'm a strong believer in the fact that the direction a child takes starts AND ends with what the parent does in the house. What I mean by that is as a parent you tell your kids what they need to know, they go out and are affected by the world anyway, and then you reign them in and tell them how they messed up and what they need to learn. It's really not the hardest thing in the world but it's amazing how hard it is for some people to simply instill and reinforce good judgement & morals into our children. I personally think the one of the biggest problems people have in their way is the need for dual incomes. Ladies I am NOT saying you should stay at home because I don't believe that BUT we can't deny that it does have an affect when no one is home with the kids.
Since it's not realistic in most cases for one of the parents to be at home and we know from experience it's possible to turn out good kids with only one parent in the home there must be something else that's missing. Well, spending most of my childhood in a single parent home (including the time my mom was with my father) I grew up around my family (which is why I'm so big on family) and now that I am older I am a big believer in that old addage "it takes a village to raise a child". For me it was my family (and family friends who I thought were family...LOL) and my village spanned SW D.C., SE D.C., and all across Prince Georges County Maryland. I really think this is what's needed for us to get a better hold of our children. There is five times as much stuff on television and radio showing our kids what's negative in the world these days. Why not have five times as many people reinforcing the morals parents are teaching. But in order for it to work you have to trust the people in your "village" and they have to know the standards you expect for your kids....that's why I think family is the best for this. That's where you were taught and the people you will trust with your kids (in most cases). But I think it has to extend to all of us to have a sense of responsiblity to keep an eye on these kids.
I know this is probably left field for most reading this one but something I saw this morning made me think about it so I had to write it.....I was leaving out of the house this morning and just like every other morning there were about 10 kids waiting for the school bus at the end of my block. These kids are elementary school age so they are really young and they are normally out there making a lot of noise and running around playing with each other. It's harmless but the fact that they sit in the street playing like that always looked dangerous to me. Well this morning someone from one of the other blocks stopped as they were driving past the bus stop, rolled down there window and started screaming at the kids. At first I was startled and was wondering why as I stopped the conversation with my grandfather to listen. What the woman said was for the kids to stop running around in the street before they got hurt and to pick there jackets and book bags up off of the ground and put them on and MOST IMPORTANTLY she sat there and waiting for each one of them to do it. Now it may seem like much to some of you but these kids are really reckless sometimes so it was needed. The problem is that none of us "good neighbors" have ever stepped up to say something to the kids before this woman. I don't even think that she had a child out there because she didn't call out anyone's name or anything. After she pulled off they stayed quiet...at least until I was gone....and I noticed that a couple of other neighbors on the block saw what happened too.
I say this all to say that she made me look at myself and realize that I need to start being part of the solution. So from this point on I will try to make a point to be a part of the "village" and not an addition to our messed up culture. And as far as this blog goes.....
Let me know what you think.
posted by Daneger at 8:57 AM
6 Comments:
I totally believe in being apart of the solution! And I am happy that you want to be apart of it....it starts small you know just saying something like the woman did, or mentoring someone...just giving back, passing on that wisdom and knowledge that you have...you would be shocked at how many kids don't get that...they don't get talked to, they don't get love....so that's a great thing that you want to do!
I can imagine how bad it can be just listening to some of these kids talk. I swear I wasn't as knowledgeable about some things at 10 that I hear some of these kids talking about at 6. They are growing up fast and growing up on their own in a lot of cases.
Wow Dane. You're really making me think about this. I agree with T when she says that we should all be a part of the solution. It makes me think about all of the times I could have said something to someone's child, and didn't. But my question is, is there an age limit to this? Most of the kids in my neighborhood are middle and high school students. I looked out my window last week and saw middle or high school students (I can't tell what age these kids are anymore!) sitting in the courtyard smoking weed like they owned the place. Their attitudes were what got me most upset. These girls and boys dispositions were just ALL wrong. I wanted to basically kirk out on them and tell them to get out of my courtyard, but I couldn't. Dane, I'm scared of these big ole teenage boys and nasty girls now-a-days. They could dag on near curse me out and beat me up! Especially when I look about 1 day older than them.
Elementary students I can handle. Teenagers...I don't know.
But I will definitely strive to do my part from now on.
JAC I definitely feel what you are saying. You just have to realize that you have to adress every situation accordingly. NEVER put yourself in a situation where you feel like you are in danger. It is easier to approach elementary school kids in that way because they are still impressionable when it comes to adults. Teenagers are rebellious so it is totally different. You just have to find different ways to reach kids that age (tutoring, church groups, community service activities) and you also have to realize that sometimes you just can't handle every situation yourself. We have the responsibility to do our part but you want to use the most affective approach for the situation. Some folks don't have time so they give money to things to work in the community...no better or worst just different. You know?
i hear you Dane, which is why i miss Kiamsha so much. reaching high school students through that organization was the sunshine of my heart. watching somewhat scared, lost, or confused kids develop into respectful, intelligent, powerful young adults is a blessing. AND knowing that you had a hand in it...Now That's Awesome!
But handle each situation accordingly. Gotcha.
Okay first let me start with the humorous side of this....I can only imagine what those kids looked like trying to put themselves together again on that curb! I would've been cracking up at them all.
Seriously...I'm glad they were at a stage (not age) where they hadnt been "lost" yet. Do you know how many CHILDREN are out there now that would've given that lady lip? I'm not exactly sure when we stopped caring for each other and started caring for our own (and sometimes that's a stretch for these sorry parents), but we have GOT to get back to building strong foundations for our youth. Could it be that some of it got lost when are children started having children (or is that a touchy subject)? I am strong advocate for helping today's youth but maybe I shouldnt stop at just volunteering in the evenings/afternoons. Most of the time, the ones in those programs arent the ones that need the most help.
Hey,
did you ever think of being involved in Big Brothers/Big Sisters? A little less time on PS2 and a little more time AT P.S. 2?? (you know I had to put that in there) DEATH TO SONY AND MICROSOFT ENTERTAINMENT!!!! hahaha
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