The Ultimate Birth Control
I found out yesterday what a lot of folks have realized for a long time...taking care of other people's kids will change your entire outlook on children after just one try. I got the grand pleasure of babysitting my two Godson's at the last minute Sunday. I swear the older I get the more I think God has to have the greatest sense of humor EVA!!! How else do you explain all the sanctity of marriage and sinfullness associated with having sex for fun (instead of having kids) and then once you follow his plan and get married and procreate them lil bastards drive you OUT OF YOUR MIND. LOL.
Okay so yesterday at about 12:30 my bestfriend shows up with my 3 year old Godson "the carpenter" and my soon to be 2 year old(in June) Godson "the (cannabalistic) gymnist" and they are both sleep when they arrive (more proof that God answers prayers....LOL) But "the carpenter" wakes up about 5 minutes later and starts to look at cartoons and is asking for a blanket. Nothing big so far. About an hour later his brother wakes up but doesn't move, just stares at the TV...still good business. Fast forward and hour and all of that has gone out of the window...I can't say exactly when but sometime between "the gymnist" running at full speed, arms extended, into my new TV almost knocking it over AND "the carpenter" throwing my TV remote into the sink with the water and dirty dishes I realized that the fact that my mother has never beat me means that she is even stronger of a woman then I had already given her credit for. It also meant that I will never be as strong as her when I have kids...LOL!!! "The gymnist" spent most of his day running around my couch and attempting to do what looked like handstands that turned into backflips ie the name "the gymnist" and biting the hell out of everyone. "The carpenter" spent his day trying to climb on everything and putting holes in my drywall whenever he saw the opportunity (he got me twice).
The highlights of the day:
1) Changing a diaper...oh joy :(
2) My girl leaving to go to the gym and finally leaving me alone with the boys. And they went crazy. I don't scare easily but them lil dudes been here before...I swear to God!!!
3) Confronting "the carpenter" when I catch him digging a small piece of drywall out of my stairway. Conversation went like this... I ask "why did you do it?" he says "my brother did it" (who I was holding when I caught him...LOL). I say "If you lie to me again something bad will happen...why did you do it?" 5 mins later after long contemplation on what "something bad" was, he answers "I want to destroy your house". Yeah I was in shock too and paused then said "why do you want to destroy my house, I have to live here?" and he says "cause I don't like it." Again in shock I pause and he then interjects before I can speak again and says "I don't like it so I want to build you another one."
I will spend the next 18 years making sure that boy becomes a carpenter and lives up to his words. LOL! You gotta love kids!
Okay so yesterday at about 12:30 my bestfriend shows up with my 3 year old Godson "the carpenter" and my soon to be 2 year old(in June) Godson "the (cannabalistic) gymnist" and they are both sleep when they arrive (more proof that God answers prayers....LOL) But "the carpenter" wakes up about 5 minutes later and starts to look at cartoons and is asking for a blanket. Nothing big so far. About an hour later his brother wakes up but doesn't move, just stares at the TV...still good business. Fast forward and hour and all of that has gone out of the window...I can't say exactly when but sometime between "the gymnist" running at full speed, arms extended, into my new TV almost knocking it over AND "the carpenter" throwing my TV remote into the sink with the water and dirty dishes I realized that the fact that my mother has never beat me means that she is even stronger of a woman then I had already given her credit for. It also meant that I will never be as strong as her when I have kids...LOL!!! "The gymnist" spent most of his day running around my couch and attempting to do what looked like handstands that turned into backflips ie the name "the gymnist" and biting the hell out of everyone. "The carpenter" spent his day trying to climb on everything and putting holes in my drywall whenever he saw the opportunity (he got me twice).
The highlights of the day:
1) Changing a diaper...oh joy :(
2) My girl leaving to go to the gym and finally leaving me alone with the boys. And they went crazy. I don't scare easily but them lil dudes been here before...I swear to God!!!
3) Confronting "the carpenter" when I catch him digging a small piece of drywall out of my stairway. Conversation went like this... I ask "why did you do it?" he says "my brother did it" (who I was holding when I caught him...LOL). I say "If you lie to me again something bad will happen...why did you do it?" 5 mins later after long contemplation on what "something bad" was, he answers "I want to destroy your house". Yeah I was in shock too and paused then said "why do you want to destroy my house, I have to live here?" and he says "cause I don't like it." Again in shock I pause and he then interjects before I can speak again and says "I don't like it so I want to build you another one."
I will spend the next 18 years making sure that boy becomes a carpenter and lives up to his words. LOL! You gotta love kids!
posted by Daneger at 1:17 PM
6 Comments:
Oh you know a father of twins enjoyed this joint. You pretty much just described every moment of my life since my son took to crawling at 6 months. That's 2.5 years and counting. So if you want sympathy look in the dictionary between shit and syphillus.
Just this weekend Little AB climbed up on my audio tower in the home theater by jumping from on top of my $1000 subwoofer and proceded to know knock the marble chess piece off one by one. Man he is lucky his mother is a prosecutor. Terrible 3s is a bitch and I have 2 of them.
So how many do you want now?
Oh that joint ain't knocking my hustle none playa...still want a starting 5 and a 6th man. LMAO
6 oh my damn I am starting an account for you today.
This was pretty funny, and to top it off, you had two boys. The key to calming them down is to bring a little girl around. Had there been one, they wouldn't have even been thinking about you, hence the reason they started renovating your crib once your girl left.
I know that sounds strange, but little boys, when they are around too much testosterone get real creative - but you sound like you didn't do too bad. You should babysit some more.
boys will in deed act a up, and i mean act UP when its nothing but boys...my brother has ALL boys and them little jokers are a trip, BUT like nubian said they only go so far when their mother is around, without, its ON! My nephew was in rare form yesterday, so much so my brother had to step in and discipline him...i don't know what mind tricks he plays on that lil yougin but with a look and a phrase his little world comes crashing down...which leads me to the point of kids will only goas far as you let them...my twin godsons act up, but with the right look and word they calm down...
oh and i think my personal philosophy of me not giving a damn if a kid likes me or not goes a long way too...HA!
hilarious! i just helped babysit my fiance's 2 year old Godson, who just happened to be a perfect gentleman. you must have got them on a bad day. Lol!
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