Misunderstood Happiness Rant
It's funny how important a word is to the basic needs of society yet how underappreciated it can. Happiness is probably the single largest driving force in the world but is so misplaced that most people don't realize what it truly is they are searching for. It's what we lust after and are infatuated by...it's what we hunger for and why we love so deeply...it's what keeps you warm at night and what makes you feel so alone...it's what you sin for and it inspires us to pray...it's what we all want, what we are all searching for. The problem is that most of us don't even know what will truly make us happy.
Ask the average person what makes them happy and a lot of people will straight up tell you I dont know. Probably about the same number will try to thing up something off the top of their heads and end up giving an answer that they dont really believe after they said it...some of us just don't realize what makes us happy. That's not to say you can't figure it out but a lot of times it's more about realizing that certain things DON'T make you happy.
I personally have been realizing a lot as I have been thinking more about the future and building upon relationships into something much deeper. See, 5 years ago I would have been one of those people that didn't know what made them happy. The older and more mature I get the more I begin to notice how little an affect some things have on my happiness vs other things. The biggest thing about learning what makes me happy though is realizing why I am affected by certain things and not others that may make the next person happy. For example I always considered myself an unhappy kid when I was growing up. Now that I have matured I realize that really isn't true. I had a very unstable childhood as far as moving around and losing friends but what remained constant was a relaxing, open, silly, and FUNNY home life that didnt promote stress. Now that I'm older I realize that I dont stress over work or drama with friends when that stuff is out of wack. But if I have to deal with drama when I am at home in my personal surroundings I am completely unhappy...no matter how much makeup stuff someone will do or how many surprises I may receive just because (not that I dont like that stuff), it can't fix my morale when I am unhappy in my home. That's it for me.
I think for the most part it is probably that easy for most to figure out what makes them happy if they really think about but then again it has taken me damn near 30 years to figure it out for myself. LOL. But what really bugs me now and why being in a relationship makes me think of this is that as humans we tend to be selfish. Therefore each of us will try to make the person we are with happy in the way that personally makes us happy (even uncounsciously). It can even be hard to get your mate to understand what makes you happy because for them it just may not make sense. So, if it took me this long to figure it out about me, how do you make the one you love understand it?
I'll pay money for the answer to that question! (Communication right...yeah that's what I am best at and its still tough. LOL. )
Ask the average person what makes them happy and a lot of people will straight up tell you I dont know. Probably about the same number will try to thing up something off the top of their heads and end up giving an answer that they dont really believe after they said it...some of us just don't realize what makes us happy. That's not to say you can't figure it out but a lot of times it's more about realizing that certain things DON'T make you happy.
I personally have been realizing a lot as I have been thinking more about the future and building upon relationships into something much deeper. See, 5 years ago I would have been one of those people that didn't know what made them happy. The older and more mature I get the more I begin to notice how little an affect some things have on my happiness vs other things. The biggest thing about learning what makes me happy though is realizing why I am affected by certain things and not others that may make the next person happy. For example I always considered myself an unhappy kid when I was growing up. Now that I have matured I realize that really isn't true. I had a very unstable childhood as far as moving around and losing friends but what remained constant was a relaxing, open, silly, and FUNNY home life that didnt promote stress. Now that I'm older I realize that I dont stress over work or drama with friends when that stuff is out of wack. But if I have to deal with drama when I am at home in my personal surroundings I am completely unhappy...no matter how much makeup stuff someone will do or how many surprises I may receive just because (not that I dont like that stuff), it can't fix my morale when I am unhappy in my home. That's it for me.
I think for the most part it is probably that easy for most to figure out what makes them happy if they really think about but then again it has taken me damn near 30 years to figure it out for myself. LOL. But what really bugs me now and why being in a relationship makes me think of this is that as humans we tend to be selfish. Therefore each of us will try to make the person we are with happy in the way that personally makes us happy (even uncounsciously). It can even be hard to get your mate to understand what makes you happy because for them it just may not make sense. So, if it took me this long to figure it out about me, how do you make the one you love understand it?
I'll pay money for the answer to that question! (Communication right...yeah that's what I am best at and its still tough. LOL. )
posted by Daneger at 10:06 AM
1 Comments:
I have had this conversation many times with people, my girls, around the fact that everyone is different and what works for you may not work for someone else...i totally agree with you that we as humans are just naturally inclined to do what makes US happy to make the other person happy because as the bible says we "treat people how we want to be treated" not how they want to be treated...
you basically have to be really open to LEARN WHAT MAKES THE OTHER PERSON HAPPY...like me i could care less about material things, but i really like nice stuff...but I'll get that on my own...the simple heart felt gestures will make me fall...so i use that example to say we also have to be careful not to assume that people know what we want...we have to very clear on that...and the other person has to be willing to HEAR it...
oh and by the by its a process that's totally evolving as we grow as people...
finally, i am still figuring out what makes ME as a person, just TC in her own, on her own HAPPY...so you aren't alone...
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